Of Belief Systems

A Belief System is a set of precepts from which you live your daily life. These govern your thoughts, words and actions.** not the actual Jesus ChristMore often than not a Belief System is based on spiritual thought. Do you believe in a supreme being? An existence of some kind beyond the physical? Or nothing at all?A Belief System can also based on how you see yourself. What events have shaped you as an individual throughout your life.Examining my spiritual side then. For the first forty years (yes dammit, I got old!) of my life I was immersed in the Christian Belief System. I was raised in a God-fearing Baptist household. We attended Church twice on Sundays and always had many people around for Bible Studies and general community. It was a good, safe (and somewhat controlled) environment.At the age 21, I was part of a Christian touring band that visited most of New Zealand. We performed in up to 4 High Schools each day, and putting on 2hr concerts in the local Town Halls. It was an experience I’m grateful for and one that is not available to most. In fact, over the year we performed to over 100,000 people.I married at 22. (I was far too young, in hindsight), and for the next 18 years was very active in Church. As a musician. As a leader.Then life changed. My marriage broke down. And I was left having to question absolutely everything that I believed in - both consciously and subconsciously. I lost 70% of my friend-base overnight - but learned who my actual friends are.Over the last three years I have deliberately become a blank canvas.I’ve been exposed to many more ideas. Many more systems of faith. The many ways that people live their lives.I have learned much. It has been good to question and challenge that which I was conditioned to accept as truth.Interestingly enough, dealing with the spiritual conditioning wasn’t the hardest thing I had to work through. Being able to observe the inconsistent hypocritical lives of those who were adherents of my Belief System was enough for me to shut it down.For me, the hardest thing to deal with was in the area of self-worth.Those quiet, whispering, nagging and negative thoughts that tell you you’re not good enough. They’re the tricky things to silence. They impact relationships, your work, your dreams and your visions.An example. It wasn’t until September 2010 that I was able to actually talk to a woman on any level other than friend/business/colleague. For someone who is actually a talker, and whom everyone assumed was confident and self-possessed, this was a nightmare. It was terrifying trying to ask someone out for lunch or dinner. This situation resolved itself when my subconscious negativity became conscious, and I was able to reject it utterly. It took a long time for it to rise to the surface to be dealt with as I had to grow sufficiently first.Where did this shyness come from? I have no idea. I remember that I was always embarrassed about my body when growing up. I was always worrying about what people thought about me. I recall a sibling tormenting me any time I showed an interest in a girl as a teenager, and I let their words prevent me from taking risks. Then as I married at 22 I didn’t have my 20’s available to me to experience living and counter that influence.I had to wait until I was 40 to learn how to live.Being able to identify self-defeating thoughts and reject them has been one of the most critically important things for me to learn over the last three years. I’ve become more of the person I was meant to be. I’ve been removing so much that was weighing me down.I like to think I’m now a better person for it.Hope so.- S