Of Unwitting Suggestions

One of the more amusing things I have discovered over the last few months is that there is a language of romance or seduction that I have been completely unaware of.There are interpretations to my actions and suggestions that are quite different from those I intended.It comes down to context apparently. Where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re wanting to do it with, who you are (relationship status) and more.Allow me to give some examples.You ask a girl out to lunch. Your intention may be that you’re hungry, you’re bored with eating alone and she’s interesting so you want to spend some time in her company. However, I have been told that her interpretation is likely to be “He’s into me. Let’s see where this could go. If I like him, I’ll flick my hair and see if he asks me out.”I quite like the hair flick actually.Following on. If you do ask her out to catch up over a drink because your lunch together was fun, it is not necessarily about enjoying fine wine and good conversation. If she says 'yes' to the invitation, it is now a careful assessment by her of whether she’d be interested in taking things a little further, a little more seriously.As you know, I’ve been learning to cook. And from time to time I have an urge to cook for others. I have friends (status: female, in relationships, not available) that I’ve cooked for, and there is no weirdness. There is no expectation other than they’ll get fed.Now, apparently where I run into trouble is when I invite friends (status: female, single, available) for a meal. Generally speaking my intention is as above. To feed them and enjoy their company. However, I’ve been reliably informed that there may be other expectations associated with a man cooking for a woman. A reciprocation of sorts.Clearly I’m doing this wrong.I have researched further. There are other areas of confusion. For example, when you’re in a bar and the music is too loud and you suggest to the girl you’re talking with that you go someplace quiet, the interpretation is not that the music is too loud so you want to go someplace quiet.  It’s something waaaay more interesting.Again, many opportunities I’ve completely missed.Now in order to achieve some measure of balance I need to point out that the above naiveté is pretty much all me. This is not the case for most guys. To assist you ladies in understanding the complexity of the male mind, I’ve written a list. It’s not complete.If a guy asks a girl out for coffee - he thinks there is a chance for sex.If a guy asks a girl out for lunch - he thinks there is a chance for sex.If a guy asks a girl out for a drink - he thinks there is a chance for sex.If a guy asks a girl out for dinner - he thinks there is a chance for sex.If a guy cooks for a girl - he thinks there is a chance for sex.If a guy goes to a shopping mall with a girl - he thinks there is a chance for sex.If a guy goes to a movie with a girl - he thinks there is a chance for sex. Unless it’s Black Swan. Nothing is going to happen after watching Black Swan.- Simon