Of Maintaining Contact
As I’m building my confidence in the whole ‘talk to a real woman in a social situation’ arena, I’ve become aware of yet another aspect that I have absolutely no idea about.Maintaining contact.
Picture this. I’m in a bar. Slightly buzzed. I have been having the best conversation with the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. Her eyes just draw me in. Before we go our separate ways (and, yes, having failed utterly to entice her home as it’s only 9:30pm - I am such a nana), I ask for her number. She can do one of several things. Say “no”. Say “yes”. Say “yes” - and give me the number for the local pizza store.Now, I’m still a little old-school and I value phone numbers as being fairly personal things to ask for and just not hand out at a whim. Is this no longer the case? Is it actually expected and appropriate to ask for numbers? What is the value of the act of giving out a number. If you give me your number, do you expect me to actually call? Or not? Is it considered a bonus that I actually follow through on obtaining your number and call you? I’d hate to think that you were waiting by your phone weeping and churning through a box of tissues because I hadn’t called.What then is the socially acceptable length of time to wait before I call? I wouldn’t want to come across as being overly needy or completely indifferent.How about this: Is it weird asking for email addresses rather than numbers? (Of course, with an email address you can totally ‘google-stalk’ someone, but thats beside the point.)Do I just try to remember her name so I can add her as a Facebook friend? Do I just ‘add’ or do I ‘add with accompanying message’? Has Facebook usage evolved so it’s now a perfectly acceptable way to meet people and research prospective partners?A snap poll of colleagues suggests that asking for numbers is fine, asking for email addresses is peculiar (ok I’ll stop doing that now), Facebook adding may or may not work, saying “I’m on Twitter, follow me” is just wrong.Do you have any other suggestions?Ladies - enlighten me. Would you like me asking for your number or not? Assuming you give me your number are you expecting to be called? Or texted? And in what timeframe? Are you comfortable handing out your email address? If you give me your business card, do you want to be called or emailed? Or are you looking to be faxed? Is it appropriate for me to add you as a friend on Facebook after one conversation?What is the protocol? Help a guy out!!Simon.