Of an October of Dubious Value
I am so glad this October is nearly over.It has not been an easy one.Now, I generally look forward to October as it is the month in which I celebrate the birthdays of both my kids.But, buried amongst the joy of presents and lists and parties and friends and food lurks a slightly insidious darkness. The ever-present elephant in the room.My former in-laws, even after 2 1/2 years, still avoid talking to me as much as they possibly can.It’s not so obvious when there are many kids rushing around and my parents are present talking to many, but it came to the fore this week when we had a family dinner for my now Miss 6. For 70 mins, even being in the same room, I was blanked. No eye contact. No conversation. No hello.I’m over it.I originally thought that this stemmed from my having hurt ‘Daddy’s Little Girl’. This is something I can understand. But after thinking it through, I think it’s more to do with my having blemished the Pastoral status that is enjoyed by the in-laws. The Patriarch of the family wasn’t able to ensure that a ‘Happy Christian expectation’ was maintained. After all, it is all about him.The thing that is really weird is that my ex and I get on OK. The finances are sorted. The kids are thriving and they’re not missing out on anything. I see them often and we have fun. But the in-laws love to hold on to things and make it awkward.I suspect it is getting closer to the time when I call them out on it. Sigh. Add to that other sad things that have taken a toll in recent weeks and the stress builds up. It makes my shoulders ache and radiates into my head. It is clearly a season of change.I am enjoying the Voltaren.But here is the important focus. I am happy that both kids have had fantastic birthdays, and my daughters party is this Sunday. She will be having donkey rides, and has many friends coming. I am happy that my kids had fun holidays. I am happy that my boy got 6th in the Interschool Cross Country race for his year (out of 70+ other runners). These things are what life is about.Bring on the weekend. Bring on November.- S