Of Defining Relationships

One of my strong memories from childhood (well, more from the highly insecure teen-aged years) was how nervous I was around girls. I had a younger sister who teased me mercilessly if I showed any sort of interest and the end result was a huge discomfort, bordering on embarrassment, when confronted with the possibility of asking a girl out.This stayed with me for years.Now, referring back to my post ‘Of Dating’ it seems I’ve made a huge amount of progress in the last few months. I do however have some more hypothetical questions which I’d like to have resolved before they become an issue.So, to recap.I have my head around actually talking to women (rule #1: never guess their age even when prompted). I have my head around the idea of dating. I have my head around the idea of ‘seeing someone’. But at what point does someone become an actual girlfriend? Does it just occur progressively? Or do you wake up one morning after three years and realise that they are still around so they must therefore be your girlfriend?And what exactly does a girlfriend actually do that is over and above ‘seeing someone exclusively’? Is a girlfriend more expensive to run than someone you are ‘seeing’?When you are ‘in a relationship’ - what does this mean? Are there hard and fast rules defining what type of relationship you’re in? And if you are seriously ‘in a relationship’ with someone, why wouldn’t you just say ‘she’s my girlfriend’?Does being boyfriend/girlfriend imply a greater level of commitment? Is the difference that girlfriends leave their toothbrush and hair-ties at your place? And conversely, do boyfriends leave their DVDs at hers?I asked a male colleague about how and when he decided he was defined as boyfriend/girlfriend. He looked at me a little embarrassed and said that he couldn’t actually remember. So, is the defining therefore something that women value more than guys?Now, these may seem like really really basic questions to most but please understand, I married the first girl who told me we were ‘a couple’ at the age of 22 (and I am not exaggerating!) and I can’t actually recall clear details of being boyfriend/girlfriend. I can’t actually remember introducing her to people as ‘my girlfriend’. So this is territory I haven’t really been in before.I have known of people that see someone for four dates and are then publicly boyfriend/girlfriend.I know of people that are boyfriend/girlfriend for three weeks, then split, then meet someone new and are then boyfriend/girlfriend again. (Is there no stand-down period so you can breathe, figure out what you want in life and love before jumping straight in to another relationship?)I know of people that have been together for years and only talk of their relationship in terms of being ‘partners’.Is it an age thing? Have I missed the fun of having a girlfriend, therefore having to fall back on the ‘this is my partner’ thing? (which I think would suck a little bit).Note: I’m fairly relaxed about the whole ‘relationship’ thing. I’m happy and I’m enjoying life. I’m under no pressure to install a ‘girlfriend’!I would love to hear your thoughts about the definitions.- Simon